Lately I am observing how my ego is battling with my heart. I see them fighting, throwing arguments against feelings. I almost enjoy to watch this battle as I am happy that for once I can distinguish my hearts' wishes from my ego.
I believe that following your heart is the way to living a fulfilling life and following your destiny. Ideally ego and heart are at balance and one is aware which one is speaking. To me it's essential to anyone to follow their heart but it's very important to HSPs as we are longing for a meaningful life. The happiest and most well balanced HSPs I have met are those who at some point in their life followed their heart, dismissed what everyone else said, went on usual paths to follow their dream. When it comes to work that often means for HSPs to step away from the typical corporate career ladder, take pay cuts but do something they experience as very meaningful.
Currently my ego and heart are battling over the question if I should resume my career in the corporate world or stay longer home with my son and slowly over time find or create more meaningful work. My ego brings to the table that having a job in a well known company sounds so much better than being a housewife. It's much more appreciated to work than to stay home with the kids. My ego longs for the high income that would enable me again to buy anything I want while now I have to say very often no. It might be a good example for my child to see his mother making a career. "Really?" asks my heart. "Isn't it a better example to be authentic, to be happy, to devote yourself to what you love?" My heart tells me that I love being home with my son. I love having time for him, seeing him grow up. I love that I don't have to rush all the time like those who have a career. I find it important that I am there for him. That he doesn't go all week to a creche. It's important to me that I am the one raising him and giving him my values and that I don't leave this to someone else. If I could choose between playing with my son and sitting behind a desk I choose playing with him. And so on they battle ...
Lately whenever I take a big decision I ask myself if I would do the same if I were to die in two years. After all, our time on this earth is limited and I don't want to have too many regrets at the end of my life. So far I am very happy with the decisions I took under this background. Those usually follow my heart.
I wish that one day my ego and heart can be complementing each other, that they don't fight. That my ego would speak my hearts wishes. I would like that my children see me as a balanced person who found her meaning in life.
Still a long way to go but I feel I started on this path and that there's fulfilment ahead if I can stay truth to myself.
